Kadiri

*my column in the July 3, 2011 issue of Cordillera Today

Local religious and political figures are pushing for the declaration of those involved in the gay wedding ceremony held recently in Baguio as personas non grata. A bishop called it “kaidiri.” The brouhaha was all over TV and online forums.

About that ceremony – unless you were one of the grooms or brides, or among those who officiated, or were in one couple’s entourage, a ninong or ninang, bridesmaid or groomsman, what’s the big deal? It’s their wedding, not yours. And you’re not invited.  You may not agree with the idea of a same sex marriage, but did it ever occur to you that they, in turn, do not agree with the idea of a heterosexual one? You may find it repulsive to have sexual relations with a person of the same sex as you, just as they too find it repulsive to have sexual relations with a person of the opposite sex. They leave us alone, why can’t we do the same? We do not hear of homosexuals going on TV condemning heterosexual marriages.

Local politicians and holier-than-thou personalities denounced the ceremony, pulling the morality card out of their sleeves. Ehem, madams and sirs, if they believed in the same religious principles as you, the ceremony wouldn’t have taken place at all. Heck, they would probably even be spending their whole lives miserably denying their sexuality. The fact that they’re out of the closet, openly living their lives as homosexuals, openly falling in love with a person of the same sex, meant that they do not believe in what you believe in. That makes them different, not wrong.

Gay people don’t “choose” to be gay, they are gay. Period. It’s unnatural, some say. No, what’s unnatural is to deny your sexuality. To have homosexual relations when you’re straight, that  is unnatural. To have heterosexual relations when you’re gay, that is unnatural.    

We know for a fact that some of us humans are gays and lesbians, just as most of us are straight. We know heterosexual men have sex with women, and vice versa, while gay men have sex with fellow men and lesbians have sex with fellow women. So what’s wrong with gay couples wanting to solemnize their relationships, just as we heterosexuals wanting to solemnize ours? I say live and let live.

It’s illegal too, they also say. Nah, the marriages solemnized are not legally binding, true, but I don’t believe they did something illegal. And besides, I don’t believe that that piece of paper called a Marriage Contract is what they were after – they were after something much deeper than that, I think.

By the way, did it ever occur to those condemning the recently held gay wedding in Baguio that their actions actually promote pre-marital sex, sex out of wedlock?  Just a thought.

Kadiri. Immoral. Disgusting. All true about the ignorance and hypocrisy of those grandstanding bigots. And I’m all for declaring certain people personas non grata, but I don’t think we have the same people in mind.

I say it again - live and let live.